KANSAS CITY, Mo. – The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year for many people, but not for everyone.
The celebrations can be difficult for those recovering from addiction, with parties and other social gatherings often providing easy access to vices.
"When you have a drink, it creates this feeling called craving," explained P.J. Vadovicky, who is the house manager at Kansas City Recovery.
After putting opioids and alcohol behind him, he is now at the most stable point in his life.
He describes himself as the "positive vibe" technician at the home and also manages a restaurant.
"You rebuild your life and you get to a different level," explained Angela Pugh, CEO of Kansas City Recovery.
Pugh was inspired to bring a clean living home to KC after her own fight with vices.
"You have much more to lose than before," she said.
Pugh explained slipping with alcohol can be particularly bad for those who have abused drugs in the past.
"Addiction is addiction," explained Pugh. "After you're sober, your tolerance goes down. You can't go back to the same amount and that's where we see a lot of overdose."
The U.S. is currently battling an epidemic against heroin and opioid abuse.
The CDC said 91 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose. Since 1999, the number of overdose deaths involving opioids has quadrupled.
"We are always concerned," said Pugh.
Because of that, Pugh put together six tips on how to combat holiday temptations:
1) Have an Ally
“Whoever that may be for you, wherever you are going, have someone who is a safe person that you can buddy with if needed. For me, this is someone who doesn't drink, who also knows that I am sober and it is important to me to maintain my sobriety, and also someone with a sense of humor because humor is my go-to solution when I am uncomfortable. Sometimes I may go off by myself and call one of my friends just to relax and recalibrate for a minute. But I always have at least one person I can just be my sober self with and feel safe and comfortable.”
2) Be Mindful of Your Triggers
“One of the most important things I can do is to be aware of my own triggers. When I was a drinker, I loved tequila. If I am at a holiday party and a bottle of tequila is being passed around, or a tray of shots is going around, it is probably a good time for me to excuse myself for a few minutes. Maybe it’s a bathroom break, maybe it’s to call or text with a friend for a minute to keep me grounded, maybe I step away and send a fun selfie to my mom. Whatever is needed to keep me in a good, sober state of mind. Tequila is not going to chase me, and no one can force me to drink. I am responsible for taking care of myself and the smart thing for me to do is to separate myself from situations that could be challenging.”
3) No FOMO
“For those of you who don’t know, FOMO is Fear Of Missing Out. Sometimes there is a strange little feeling we get when we see other people enjoying their glass of wine, or we see our friends and/or family mixing their cocktails and laughing together – we start to feel like we are missing out on something special. We can start to feel different and separated. I have to remember the only thing I am missing out on is a horrific hangover and probably making a lot of people angry. Not to mention, if I drank, I would be devastated and heartbroken, and I would lose everything I have worked for. No FOMO. Do not convince yourself you are missing out on some special moment.”
4) Don’t Test Yourself
“I hear this one a lot from people when they are newly sober. They want to ‘test’ themselves and see how they feel being around alcohol. It’s kind of dumb when you think about it. This is not a time to test yourself because there are too many forces working against us at the holidays. Test yourself later, when there isn’t so much stress and general discomfort. Or, better yet, don’t test yourself at all. If you are in a good place, don’t push your luck. Be grateful and don’t test yourself.”
5) Stay Busy
“This is a big one for me. I have terrible social anxiety and it makes it very difficult to sit around and chit-chat with people. I am so much more comfortable when I am busy. So maybe I help with some of the cooking, or setting the table, or the cleanup. Or maybe I find a task with my niece or one of my brothers and I stay involved in that. Whatever I can do, I try to be helpful to those around me, and I try to stay busy.”
6) Be Grateful
“Of course, this is my personal favorite – gratitude. Be grateful you are clean and sober. Be grateful you get to have these moments with people you love. Be grateful you aren’t in jail or dead. As sober people, we have the opportunity to recreate and live a whole new life. That is nothing short of amazing. Many people aren’t nearly that blessed. So, look around at the people who love you and take a moment to love them back. Count your blessings and all the sober friends you have all across the world. I can go anywhere on the planet and I have a built-in family of sober people who will care about me and protect me. Not many people have that, but sober people do.”
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