KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Talking to kids about race and ethnicity is important and should be discussed with all kids. Not only children of color, but white children as well, according to Amanda Davis, intake director at Saint Luke's Hospital of Kansas City's Crittenton Children's Center.
“It is really important for kids who are white or in the majority culture to have this education because their actions as they grow, even as small children, are part of the culture and they affect all of these issues,” Davis said in an interview last week.
“It’s a privilege not to have it forced upon you at a young age and not to experience it but it’s still so important for them to know about inequality and injustice in the world and what their part is in helping things to be better.”
PERSPECTIVE: The conversation we need
Davis said that children start to notice differences in people around age two or three. During that time, Davis said it’s a great time to start the conversation.
“While children notice differences in skin color, they also notice differences in how people are being treated very early,” Davis said. “So it’s really important to talk about the historical context of how those differences evolved and also talk about your family’s values about how we treat people and not treating people differently based on things like their skin color and gender.”
A child’s introduction to race can be molded with what they are surrounded with.
“You want to pick books and toys and media that really reflect how you want their world to look,” Davis said. “So you want to pick barbie dolls that look different. You want to pick books that tell stories from different people’s perspectives.”
The deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd and the recent protests are current events that children are watching and hearing about. Davis said it’s important to talk to children about what’s happening, how much they know, and where the parents and family stand.
“You always want to ask your kiddo what they heard, what they know and what they understand because a lot of the time they know more than what we think they do from hearing adults talk to each other or catching something on the news," she said. "You want to know what information they’re starting with and how they’ve interpreted that."
Davis said to talk about the situation at your child’s level and what they can understand.
“You want to be really honest about what’s happening. While it’s really hard to tell a young child a police officer killed a man, it’s very important for them to know that,” she said, adding that the discussion should avoid graphic videos because that may cause trauma.
Davis said that kids will be aware of what's happening even if parents don’t want to discuss it and it’s important to have the conversations.
“We teach them early on that we treat people fairly and we get to know a person from their individual characteristics rather than how they look on the outside.”
