LENEXA, Kan. — Everyday, simple pleasures like the scent of a candle and a refreshing glass of water are filled with new meaning for one local breast cancer survivor.
Shalena Prude, of Lenexa, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013 at 38 years old. Now, she's loving life. But during her breast cancer battle, Prude thought about ending it all.
"I just, you know, blurted it out that I wanted to commit suicide,” Prude said. “You know, I was at that deepest point in my life where I felt like at some point I wanted to take my own life.”
"We're always about ‘fight and rah, rah and pink and the ribbon and the breast cancer symbol’ and there is so much positivity around breast cancer diagnosis,” Prude said. “I would say, however, you don't see the dark side.”
Prude plunged into darkness after 11 weeks of chemotherapy.
"I'm not sure, but I do believe that going through chemotherapy, while it is this poison that's pumped into your system that destroys your cells for the rebuilding process –I don't know, I think it has some kind of mental ramifications potentially on you as well," Prude said. "So I was really mentally and physically just exhausted, and I was just at the point where I had had enough. I had truly, truly had enough.”
Prude is not alone. According to the University of Kansas Cancer Center, in Westwood, Kansas, 30 percent to 40 percent of cancer patients will experience some depression or anxiety over the course of their treatment, including men and women diagnosed with early-stage or late-stage cancer.
Meagan Dwyer, director of the onco-psychology program at the University of Kansas Cancer Center, said she thinks it is important for friends and family to know that those battling cancer can have those thoughts.
“It's OK to ask and it's OK to talk about, especially if you find someone around you is acting differently, pulling away, seeming less involved or isolated,” Dwyer said. “It might be a good opportunity to reach out and to see how they're doing.”
Prude confessed her wish to die by suicide to her mother and aunt.
"They are both my heroes – my mom and my aunt,” Prude said, “and with that, they shook me out of that moment and time and brought me back to all of the good things about my life – my career and my home, my family life.”
The dark cloud slowly lifted and Prude began traveling, going on cruises and connecting more with her family. She also joined theYoung Survival Coalition and the Breast Cancer Survivors Dragon Boat Team.
"It was such a mental health boost for me,” Prude said. “It was invigorating. It was, I don't know, enlightening. It's just an amazing feeling to be out instead of cooped up in your house feeling sorry for yourself.
"I thank God gave me this second chance of life as an opportunity to share.”
Now, Prude is a breast cancer survivor committed to exposing the dark side of cancer and helping cancer patients find the path to positive mental health.
Prude also believes it would be a good idea to assign all cancer patients a mental health provider who can help the patient address challenges before they become overwhelming and lead to thoughts of suicide.
Anyone having thoughts of suicide can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
