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‘The most excruciating pain’: Kansas City moms share their stories of losing children to gun violence

 DeHaan
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KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Tammy DeHaan is one of many Kansas City mothers who lost their child to gun violence in the city this year.

DeHaan says that in the days following her son Michael DeHaan’s death, she wasn’t strong enough to get up and move on with her life. One day, after weeks of grief, she believes she heard his voice, which gave her the strength to move forward.

Her nightmare began on Aug. 21. Tammy’s phone rang at around 9:30 p.m., changing her life forever.

“He had called and said he was on his way home. He wanted to know if I wanted him to pick up something to eat,” DeHaan said. “The next phone call I got said that Michael had been shot.”

Michael DeHaan was pumping gas at a BP station in Kansas City when a man stole his car and killed him.

“Losing a child is the most excruciating pain you’ll ever feel,” DeHaan said.

 DeHaan

For her, Michael is still everywhere.

His shoes, work clothes, and pictures decorate his room.

“I go in, wish him good morning every day, and light a candle. I give him a kiss and go about my day,” DeHaan said.

But Tammy is not alone in her pain.

As of Dec. 27, Kansas City, Missouri, police report that the city had 143 homicides this year, almost all of them committed with a gun.

The number is the lowest in the past five years, but that doesn’t change the pain local families feel.

“He was the most loving, caring child,” DeHaan said.

Rashawnda Perry-Townsend lost her 23-year-old son, Xavier, to gun violence in May.

"Xavier would give you the shirt off his back," Perry-Townsend said.

Rashawnda Perry-Townsend

“She was great, very enthusiastic, and wanted to learn about everything,” said Samantha Freeman, whose 11-year-old daughter, Kourtney, was shot and killed while inside her home in April.

Samantha Freeman

And while dealing with the everlasting pain, these mothers try to move on.

“It may get a little easier to get through the day, but I don’t think it’ll ever get better,” DeHaan said.

She said she finds support at Corey's Network, an organization that provides immediate services to surviving victims of homicide in the KC area.

DeHaan is now preparing for the trial of Lorenzo Johnson, who is accused of shooting and killing Michael. The trial is set for February.

Tammy says she wants to ensure her son’s voice is heard.

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