TONGANOXIE, Kan. — 41 Action News recently completed a series of stories on addiction. Specifically, the series addressed how the pandemic and subsequent stay-at-home orders meant new addictions for some, or finally coming to terms with long-term addictions for others.
In that series, we talked about pornography addiction with a man who counsels other men.
But after it aired, a Kansas woman, who counsels women addicted to porn, reached out to us.
"The only thing I ever heard even from like church sermons talking about pornography addiction was about men and their struggle and how men should don't watch porn as adultery and all of that,” Crystal Renaud Day, an author and counselor on pornography addiction, said. “But it never addressed the female side and never addressed the fact that women also struggle in this way.”
Renaud Day said she was first exposed to pornography at the age of 10 and spent nearly a decade addicted to it. Today, she knows just how many women struggle.
“My client load has grown exponentially since the start of the quarantine, three months ago or so,” Renaud Day said.
Crystal has written books about her struggle and says the conversations she’s having with women right now focus on what’s missing from their lives.
“They're saying, ‘I didn't realize how severe my issue was until I was isolated at home and I didn't have any other outlet for my emotional, physical, mental, spiritual needs because even churches were closed,’” Renaud Day said. “There really wasn't that ability to reach out for support.”
She connected us with Brea, a woman in her twenties that found Crystal through her website.
“I actually have Googled many different times and went through pages on Google, to try and find female porn addiction, or just help,” Brea said. “Because a lot of it was just male-dominated. And so when I was able to see even just a female name, I was like, ‘Hey, maybe I can look on this one. Maybe there's hope.’”
Brea was stuck, working from home, and stuck in a cycle that she couldn't break.
“But it truly has been the need, per se, of me having to watch a video in the morning before I really start my day,” Brea said. “It is to take a break from the reality of work and being surrounded by dishes and clothes that need to be done, and not being able to go anywhere. I really want to sleep right now. And, well, what do I do? I watch porn, so I can have that release. And then I can finally go to sleep."
Pornhub, one of the most visited pornography sites in the world, dropped the pay portion of its site when the stay-at-home orders began, and traffic saw a spike. Literally millions visit every day.
Brea frequently visited that site, and she and Crystal both said those stats show that no woman should feel alone
“The power really doesn't have to come from within you. It really can be something that other people are able to help with," Brea said.
"I have known the shame of this struggle, I've known the isolation of the struggle,” Renaud Day said. “And there is freedom on the other side if you're willing to do the work and get the help that you need. But you don't have to live a life sentence with this issue.”
—
The Rebound Kansas City is our effort is to help metro residents play a role in moving our community forward. We would love to hear your thoughts and ideas to via email to rebound@kshb.com and we welcome you to join in the conversation on the Rebound KC Facebook Group.
Whether you're Getting Back to Work after a layoff, need help Making Ends Meet during these trying times or need tips on Managing the Pressure we're all feeling, The Rebound has resources to find help. We'll also make sure local leaders are Doing What's Right to get Kansas City back track after a three-month shutdown.
Need a job? Be sure to visit our local jobs board powered by Indeed.